These last few weeks have been historically transformative for the world. The Black Lives Matter movement and protests against police brutality have taken a priority for us. And while muting our work and life to amplify the Black community's voices is vital right now, we are also doing the non-performative work behind the scenes to be better white allies. We have been over the last few years. And this isn't a post to glorify that effort because we know it'll never be enough. We feel it is crucial, as white business owners, to call IN our fellow white business owners to do this work alongside us. For this reason, we want to share some of the ways we've failed in the past AND the changes and micro-efforts we are making (and plan to make) to be more mindful. We want everyone to feel welcome, safe, and valued; we want our business/our photography to represent all people. These micro-efforts combined can build into a macro-level change. These efforts are small, but they are helpful to the much larger and necessary dismantling of this oppressive system in which we all exist.
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We want to share a few ways in which we are guilty of perpetuating a message of inequity along with some simple changes we made after that awareness. Again, please hear me, this is not for compliment or applause (please don't) but rather to advocate for a widespread change within THIS industry. The wedding industry fails on nearly every level in America to widely represent all people and all kinds of love. We are guilty. We are all complicit. This is a work-in-progress, but there is no excuse for lack of action and effort. Even as I'm writing this, I am checking in with peers and colleagues, and learning that my knowledge and my language is not developed enough.
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First, we proudly photographed the first same-sex wedding for our company nearly ten years ago, before marriage equality. We've always seen ourselves as 'progressives'… as supportive of equal rights. We've photographed several same-sex weddings since and yet sadly, due to our own privilege and ignorance, realized only last year that some of the language in our messaging was still pitifully inequitable. Referring to our couples as 'Bride and Groom' across all of our messaging, finding it buried within the copy of our questionnaires and contracts was inadvertently harmful, yes, but still inexcusable. We sincerely apologize now to all those we worked with in that time who read those words and felt unseen. We have always believed in equal rights for all people, but we weren't using the language to show it. It's that simple. We must hold ourselves accountable.
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Secondly, we've always been internally troubled by the fact that our clientele is predominantly white as well as mostly straight, and bewildered, we'd often wonder why. Only recently have we opened our awareness and connected the dots. Then, we began making the concerted efforts to be more direct about our support in our messaging intentionally. Moreover, we worked to represent more Black people, more gay couples (real couples, not models pretending to be gay) visually in our photographs and marketing. We need to serve all humans and all love stories in our work, and as a straight, white couple, we need to do this even when we aren't hired or paid. And when we do so, we need to pay for the work and time of BIPOC and LGBTQ people, we need to not tokenize them. We are committed to that.
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And thirdly, I admittedly hold a lot of guilt for not doing better at the representation of diversity on social media. I am terrible about content planning and have done an abysmal job of posting the breadth of our work for years (I blame it on traveling). I have hoards of photos from styled shoots and weddings with beautiful couples and individuals of all kinds, but I have not been sharing enough of that imagery— that representation matters. I will do better. This has been an ongoing item on my to-do list for years, to plan social media posts ahead of time and share more of our images that celebrate diversity and love. So I hope when you see more of that here, it won't be viewed as performative or bandwagoning. That shit is for the birds, and we're just genuinely working to be better allies. We are committed to being a part of the change, “the change not just how things look, but how things are” (Layla Saad, author of ‘Me and White Supremacy’)
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A few references and resources for further work, from people much more qualified than myself to learn from:
Check your language. If you want to appear inclusive and welcoming for all couples, does your language reflect that? Cincinnati photographer @cassandrazetta has some excellent resources on her site/blog.
Planning styled shoots or industry events that include BIPOC and/or members of the LGBTQ community as models, educators, creatives is a great way to begin serving, welcoming and representing the broader population in this industry. @Spiritofrevelry shared an educational video recently that I appreciated; it pointed out ways to do better in our industry, it's a MUST watch!
Do the research. Ask your colleagues and peers for help when you can't find the answers yourself. Monitor yourself and your work diligently. Understand that having done poorly in the past doesn't make you a bad person or business, and sharing those moments may help others grow, as well as yourself. Staying engaged in this conversation is vital to that growth. Show up instead of shutting down. - Referenced and paraphrased from a beautiful post by @wisdomofanxiety shared with me by my dear friend Kate @moonrisingcoaching who has helped immensely to broaden my awareness of inclusivity and language for the LGBTQ community.
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**Keep listening, keep learning, keep admitting your biases, even if only to yourself. Commit to doing better. Let’s rise up in this industry and hold one another accountable!
**We plan to continue sharing work and resources we find valuable! We hope you’ll be here for it!
Are you a BIPOC or a member of the LGBTQ community who has work or a story to be told, let us know! We’d love to collaborate and help amplify those individuals, their work and their stories!!
Up next, our reading list and some words we’ve resonated with during the Black Lives Matter movement.